Title: So Near Like a Baby
Author: Me!
Rating: That's the issue. I'll slap a PG-13 on it.
Warnings: None really.
Summary:When these conmemmics coume iout it’s over. No more pmiste rn ice giy . I diont’ even care. Just say you’bee be ther like the spice gurls .. babye spaice is mattered and I don’t like it one bit. Oh=hopefully harroy pooter can siveae the dayl. I don’t know fore sure and IZ on’dlont remmeer the issube, but jueee golhy harrrp potter will repveial . <--prevail.
Hermione and draco woke up. They sat in the bed next to each other. They had no recollection of how it happened. It was like being born again. No explanation. Upon waking, they realized that there were no clothes on their body, holy shit??! Did they makey-outey. Only the author knows and she is so drunk. But just thin jkrowling stepped in to clarify the situation.
Draco: you love Hermione. You want to be with her foreves.
Draco was like , “no way. I’m my own person. But jkrowlinjg peristed. “You should totlatyy be with Hermion. She’s got curly hair, she’s spunky. I think you ought to like her mucho.
Draco considered his inventor’s speech. Fine, but I get to wear the color yellow. I like how the monochromatic look blends with my skin. I feel like a twinkie.
Jk rowling didn’t know what to say to that. She’ shook her head. Ummm. Yeah. Just make sure that you hook it up iwht granger. I know that fanfidtion reactors like to call her that.
I’m not sure what her parents called her [becuae I negleicted to name her. But draoc, you’ve got a name qsuared out ofro her and that it that. Ye ha…
Just then a western intruputted ted scene.
Galloping on a horse, the sheriiff, yet to be unmade came in. sounds of wihistles sounded. Burm burm bmrum . I been hearing that there’s a mixup involvin’ you.
I’m not sure how your referes to.
“Ype that be right” we’ve ha some issuses. You here to help or no?
Harry potter glared at th epoeple not on a horse. “I reconkon I is. Me parent s died cus of this weakner.
He was mimicking seamus Finnegan. hte irish brogue always were under his skin. Kind of lke hagrid.Just thine, someome opened the door.
“yeh ahh” that someone was without a n identity because in a blink of an eye, the author forgort aboiut him. “who yeah be?” but instedadof like hearry pooter it ossounded like Moody with acrazagyhay eye.
It be me. I come here to lay claim on hermione granger. Iv’e got me a certificate here.
the authorite figure looked itover. “indeed you does.”
Alrighty then, like ace venture pet detedctive.. “give me my bride.”
With struggling, hermione came to meet her match.
“Malfoy, I hate you.” She brewed silently, thinking of all the fanfiction were she emerged the heroine. But th4 aoutheor would not have it that way..
You’re mind./e
Indeed she was.
As the camera panned out…hermione decide dthat she ouwld live happiley ever ever after until dinosaurs came to retstarte the world slash reinvent the world. But this hold time thae author wished otherwise. She wan’ed to sleep, ubtut it evaied her and for what???? For naughtier?? Is there any excuese . I hpe not, I hope veryone k getst o eat sugar rcookes becxause they rare the bombo. Merry chrimst and to all a goodn igth bteause I an’t takte it any more and dramion e just want to have babies and shout in the shoutbox. I hipe you understand how much I love you. Backe to dramione. Hermione gave in because she realized likfe with ron sucked. That was the long and short of it. She swvield in the bar stool….my life was headed downhill until now. Like spongebob, no one was listening , butshe continued her storries. I rmemer loookgn ago not wanting to bother but I ddid her and here I am now. Wainting for teh credits to rolw. Ugh, worst fate efer. She looked around the bar….why could nt’ she have a plot. Jut cuase she could nt’.ayeha eand then the authero tried to keep at it, but her thugt s wold not stirng to anything beside lullisl in lsleep so we never find out the polto her or our hermione’s concousion to metting with dublmdore. We jus t know that it happeind and hope that eramione goodness arises. We cna only hpe. Just like luck skywalker. Ok, there is no endiing so I’m tired and
The end.
Okay the real end.
the auther reread the story. It wti was lblime brilliant. No comouns. Just biralnt and then I thougth struck! Sonorous. We must ivist that we4biste. She hoped the grimlinjs whould attack. But wowo, mulan showed up and everyone got donw to b businness. To defeat the huns. Yeah…owindeers. And hly moldyu liets just bplay beastkedball ti si fuh ad nthe maeircans seem to lie I it. Hermione looked to draco, whatever you say. She was unconviended. Spelling wasn’t helping her,but she just colen’t stop. Pealse!!! Resuce ume . iv’ev fallen and I cant’nt get up. Werheres the beef. O h my, hormone had to realize hat she was just a character and I’m hungery please feed me.e ummm the end.
FIN
Over and out. The end . much gracias for everehtingf rtlkhjk can’t stpop don’t storek. Ok I wont’. Not ever. Well thien , it’s up t oyou to stp but if e wills itother wise than ye on you r ownd. Odn’twmt vomited,b tu m7a yha00hedk n8 oveloe uouoiul 0oeasen nc9hs8detnty8sttatjehtw8ytnsencerityl. I’ve got the hickcups . g igthe. Bed is calling and draco andhermione ar ein love.
And because I couldn't stop and began typing with my eyes closed.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Arthur you I s a hattah. Like no other. You be looking like you car,bu under that presse d shir is he is ceraitn that ungrafteful, dramjmone sucikg famior I sin his fest. Yehah, you take that you fest lovers. She took eher chheelks into her hand. It’s on cnning that ‘sx t almst o unnnatura;/ o ;ole a ;ot;tekining, but pease mkeae sure you underatnd. Dubmass. Gonna seelpe/ without his fater instead no, but wth ti it is a clinmionte if custer.s ok g night . l oove all you alidess. Luck gail…ught I’m t ol t othtoejrare5ejaejorejlkjkfaklgjekm byue.
Wow, it’s so uloo bur ond’tevder let it happened to me. Ugh, that’s hwaawful.. have yo knho shame. I don’t just lve for draco and and the mods forever. Oakhy, if oyour’ sure thane awe convent ontomoorw at noine am, t fineish this cash until then, syaorray. Nntw. That was supposed to say btw,, but idk what it mean.s night. For rieals no place ealse to go exept sllewpl….ioahjegp thu6roi my firend peed in y bahtroolm it was weird,but I got vever it. Ok noght night. Don’t liet fronggie get hit mby a car.1!!!!!!!tty pl
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