Carla

Some facts first:

1. During the summer I taught English at a "summer camp".
2. The program's mission is to assist [students] in the successful completion of high school, and post secondary education.
3. It was catered towards at-risk children.
4. This was my first foray into teaching.

~

One the first day, I was more than likely late and I wore hot pink. I remember being incredibly nervous and fearful that the students would not like me or worse respect me. For some reason I just scream "total mega bitch" and if I don't, then it oozes through my pores. I'm very aware of this particular fact and I have yet to wield it to my (express) benefit and more importantly to the mutual success of others. In general, I find meeting people/peers to be stressful, so I'm not certain how I convinced myself that I should be in a Position of Authority, but I did.

"Good morning everyone, I'm so and so and I'm here to teach English. Does everyone know what an outline is?"

Yes everyone did, but of course I had to pull teeth to get a response. That's find. I want something, I work towards it. We covered beaucoup de rudimentary stuff: "Can you tell me what foreshadowing is?" And because I didn't write the syllabus, we did some personal development that is too cheesy and painful to mock. It was all very rocky and groggy as class started at 8:00 am. In June.

"So, who are you?" (This is me trying to relate.)

"I'm Carla."

"And you?"

"I'm George...Carla's brother."

Oh

"And you sir?" (I'm laughable.)

"I'm Cesar. Carla's and George's cousin."

Facepalm. Full House. Three against the One.

My American is coming out. OH SHIT! PUT IT AWAY

Quirks, Pet-Peeves, and Other Idiosyncrasies

In no particular order.


1. I want a gold tooth, badly.
2. I don't like it when two rooms are directly across from one another. Heaven forbid if the beds line up.
3. I find pseudo-word "luv" ridiculous.
4. Word salad.
5. I clean my room 3-7 times a week.
6. I don't like discarded hair. I feel like my biology (not kidding that's what I call it) is just out in the atmosphere.
7. I have crazy dances moves. I don't mean the good crazy either.
8. I often think about starting any walk with the left foot first.
9. My hair is out of control. Once I cut it all off. That was bad.
10. Eating chocolate chips results in an allergic reaction.
11. The word 'weird.'
12. I think better when on my feet. If I have to think about what I'm thinking. It will be thoughtless.
13. I will spend hours looking for a song.
14. I didn't have a long term cellphone until 2009.
15. I just got a new student loan bill in the mail.
16. I guess I'm pretty normal.

Bad Tidings

I have news of the worst sort to share. I'll start from the less depraved and save the distressful bits for last.

5. I was reading a story misread the word leopards as leo-pards as if it rhymes with 'cards.'

4. I missed Dear Genevieve on HGTV.

3. I overate today/had a meal around midnight. I don't have an eating disorder, but I had to fight not to vomit. Being an American, it took me years to learn portion control and for a few minutes (that's saddening), I was just completely out of touch with my body. A very bottom's up feeling.

2. I doubt that I'll ever drop the last 15lbs I need to be 'thin.' It's disheartening because anymore weight loss would result in me being sickly. Geez, I'm a laze. Fuck you metabolism.

1. I got an email from the Peace Corps. I won't be shipping off until April it seems. It's getting harder and harder to hold on my dream. And I wish I could say "I would do ANYTHING to make it come true," but I've all ready nullified that statement. And that's why I'm in this current predicament and perpetually unsettled.

~~~~~~

Some good news...
I love playing Sky Burger on the iPad. I applied for an interim job. I cleaned my room. I was nice to my sister. I fought the urge to buy a Dr. Pepper!!! I had a pretty bizarre dream. I am a lucid dreamer. I've decided what I want for Christmas....BOOTS!!!! I'm alive and I think I might go to China or something.

Inebriated Commentary with the Captain

Me: My comment was eaten! Saveee mee...

It said that i could find bottles of basilmac vingear, but I edned up finding a bottle of wine.....

WHICH I DRUNK ALREADY!!!!

YEAH BOI.

*BREAKS DANCE*

~~~~~
Me: ugh, i"m replying to my own self.

Whhat I wouldn't do for a bottle of four loko.


I wanna be riding a pony right now

~~~~~
Captain: Ponies are pretty.

~~~~~
Me:It's just, I would really love one. And I might start crying, because some people don't take care of their ponies. And it's so mean. I watch lot of animal planet and I'd be a good poney owner. That's all I'm saying.

~~~~~
Captain (yayy!!!!): No, I can tell you would be!!! You deserve one and they don't!

~~~~~
Me:You're very sweet.

In a non-sexual way, you could ride my pony.

~~~~~
Captain:That is super hilarious even now that I'm sober!! Thank you!


FIN and Friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uk6B2kDljas&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL8655803AE2DC9340
video compliments of ikee

Alcohol is *My* Muse

This endeavor was brought upon by a drunken stupor. Surprisingly, the fic features woke-up married!Dhr, countless references to cartoon characters, and a gratuitous author's note.

Title: So Near Like a Baby
Author: Me!
Rating: That's the issue. I'll slap a PG-13 on it.
Warnings: None really.
Summary:When these conmemmics coume iout it’s over. No more pmiste rn ice giy . I diont’ even care. Just say you’bee be ther like the spice gurls .. babye spaice is mattered and I don’t like it one bit. Oh=hopefully harroy pooter can siveae the dayl. I don’t know fore sure and IZ on’dlont remmeer the issube, but jueee golhy harrrp potter will repveial . <--prevail.

I have a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts

Like clockwork, it seems that I always want a cupcake. Day or night, rain or shine, with milk and cookies. The dilemma over cupcakes concerns my favorite part. Well, which part is that? The icing part. So sweet and creamy and problematic. See, I have what the doctor calls "adult on-set allergies." As I was coasting through my twenty-second year of life, I developed a sensitivity to dairy.

*waves* good-bye cheese, milk, sour cream, cream cheese, salad dressings, yogurt, all the foods made with diary, but especially cupcakes.

Forty-five minutes ago, I ate a slice of cheesecake. It was so good. But diary interferes with iron absorption. And the doctors told me that I have anemia too. So, now I'm waiting for an hours time to take my iron supplement.

I wanted to go immediately to bed after eating my wickedly sinful slice of cheesecake. But I hadn't taken my vitamins yet, so Here I Am.

Sleepy, frustrated and rambling.

My hour is up!