(Sane) Mad Men Preferred

I can't believe it was just yesterday that I watched the premiere. Or the day before since it's now past midnight. Overall, there was some things I liked and there were something that appalled me. I was especially happy to learn that Kiss aired on AMC.com (thanks for that tidbit I33), less this post would not be happening. Cut for spoilers.

The Children:
The ongoing oedipal complex Sally has with her father has to boil over soon. Though well done, it's getting ridiculous. Creeper vibes aside, I'm sad that Glenn's out of her life--he was a nice foil for Ms. Sally. When Eugene called out "bye daddy," I thought I'd pee my pants. I didn't which is great. Season four had world's best dad bitching about Eugene's paternal recognizance. I don't know why because Don Draper always wins.

Megan:
I've never wanted singing skillz more badly in my life. Her party number (both song choice & attire) were awesomesauce. I'm begrudgingly impressed by her character development. I was expecting something vapid, weak-will, and similar to carpet. She was surprisingly gun-ho, infinitely relatable, and somewhat apace to her husband. Things I did not like include her spat with Peggy. The dialogue fell apart for me and I wasn't even sure what the fuck she was complaining about. I know Peggy wasn't sure either as she sought out Don Draper in utter confusion. What I especially detested was how her anger devolved into sexual frustration. Huh? Sex as a weapon has never seemed so contrived. You think in fifteen months they would've developed something better. As usual, Don Draper wins.

Pete & Peggy
*coddles them* How bizzaro was it to see them argue over the baby? I can't even imagine all the bad mojo that baby had to withstand. Poor kid. Pete: two thumbs way up my ahole. No. That's rude. Although in a poorer neighborhood, he sure is growing up. I like that he's thinking and I sincerely hope that he can get all the good things at once. Peggy: I'm happy she was still with Abe??? She was on screen for like 5 minutes...3 of them listening to Megan whine.

Other Partners:
My heart nearly burst when Robert Morse was listed as a cast member. I love old men--they remind me of all the oppression I've faced in life. Roger Sterling had to wake up early for once in his life. Too bad Joan has to do that everyday. You'll get no sympathy from me. Pryce is getting is flirt on and I likes. I hope this season we learn how/why/apjaikni his father beat the shit out of him. Obviously, everyone knows that clients go to SCDP (and little c) for Don Draper, so he is the definite champion.

People of Color:
Holy cow batman. It's a Christmas miracle. I have to give the creators extra kudos for incorporating blacks into the series. There was no feasible way non-whites could've entered Don Draper's world without the aid of comedy (water bombs) in a professional capacity. Seriously well done. Don Draper's ad saves the day.

Don Draper:
Please don't ever stop being Don Draper. If you do, just think about how your wife doesn't love Dick Whitman. It's true, she said it to your face because she's a moron. I regret her actions for her. Please forgive us, Don Draper. You're the only one who could absolve us. We beg of you on our hands and knees in black lingerie.


Anywho, my mother is a serious sweet talker, and she got Time Warner to give us premium cable for free. Hopefully, that will be up & running by Sunday...if not until Monday.

Staring at Walls Amuses Me

Good news. I'm not wearing pants.

I know what you're thinking and that's: how could that possibly be of any benefit to you? Well, I'm not sure except for the fact that I'm really happy. I haven't been pants free for about two months and I feel like a crack addict that's jump back on the crack wagon. Oh yeah.


Nose Ring
It's been nearly a year since I got my nose pierced. It was a spur of the moment decision spurred by an equally rash act. My friend and I went shopping at the local dollar store and somehow I walked out without paying for my goods. This was a legit accident as we were trying on scarfs and I just forgot to take it off/buy it. So, like all criminals, we decided to extend our dirty, good-for-nothing behavior and get our noses pierced. Flash forward nine months and my nose started itching. Obviously, you can't really scratch a nose piercing, so I took it out and gave my skin some time off. Two days later, I attempted to stick the bad boy back in there no problemo. Reality = Not So. The little fucker had closed up and the PROCESS TO GET IT OPEN SUCKED SO BAD. I get why it's called self-mutilation; it hurts beast mode level 3456449505944. I felt the skin give way as the needle pushed through my nostril. Awful. P.S. I nearly fainted when I first got it.

Sisters
I've got two of them. We had to do some early Spring cleaning and it didn't go well. I went in my sister's room and she was chilling on the bed reading. I said "USJP what, what are you doing? How come you aren't cleaning your room?" Her response: because it's boring. I was baffled. Sometimes I forget that they're's (don't look at my grammar) a ten year age gap and the resulting disparity. It's super irritating.


Paranormal Shit
I'm still obsessed with True Blood. I wish I had HBO so that I could watch the fourth season On Demand. I dream about it (yes, about having HBO). The guys are so hot and nekkid (win!).  However, the show is easily one of the more laughable/farcical series on television. Many times it crosses the ridiculous line, and often it fails in the realm of plausibility and continuity. Bon Temps marches to its own beat and I'm the lead cheerleader.

When I want to put the pom poms down, I watch True B Being Human. Now that is a superbulous show through and through. I'm head over heels for the character Sam. Sam is a werewolf and an asshole. If I had to describe my feelings for that character I would start with exasperated and end with wanting to ripe his head off and wearing it as a pendant on my necklace. It's sublime how real and personable the actor's portrayal is as I feel that way about half of the people in my life.

Sob Story
I wasn't really left at the altar, but I was left. Three days ago, my friend celebrated her twenty-fourth birthday. Five days ago, she sent me an email with a place and time. I didn't respond. The day of the party, I told her I wouldn't make it to the dinner, but that I could attend the festivities afterwards. On the phone, we confirmed where I was to hook-up with the party. Almost dressed to kill (because I'm lazy) I made my way over to the stated location. I told my ride to leave and I went into the restaurant. Nobody was there. I told the concierge that my phone wouldn't fit in my purse and asked if I could use the house phone. He consented. I called my friend. She told me they had switched the location. No one bothered to tell me and she told me that "we're cutting the cake and we'll be over there to get you in fifteen minutes."

Alright, that's not so bad. Except I waited for over and hour and half for someone to come get me. It was humiliating and so unbelievably embarrassing to be in that situation. I just couldn't believe that I was stranded while they were celebrating. That all my friends were partying and completely not giving a fuck about me and more than likely mocking my situation (haha, Kandy doesn't drive, have a phone, or a job, or boyfriend or etc.).  I cried.

I just couldn't believe how insensitive they (like fifteen people) were and I ruined my make-up (no pictures). I don't know what to do or how to feel about it. Allz I know is that they're definitely not invited to my party on March first and I sure the fuck am not going to their's (at least any time soon). I feel a little bitchy for thinking that, but I have anxiety just thinking about hanging out with them again. Any who, what would you do? I can't even figure out what Jesus would do in such a situation.

Apples and Bananas
You know that one quote about "never fighting with an idiot because they'll just drag you down and beat you with experience?" I am currently trying WITH ALL MY MIGHT to put it to practice. Here's the 411--kind of. I'm going to use an analogy to protect the identity of the stupid.
Me: Hey person X can you got the grocery store and get me seven oranges?
Person X: Sure no problem. I'd love too. Glad you asked! :) *goes to grocery store*
Me: Cool beans playah, playah.
*Person X returns from running errands.*
Person X: Hey, I'm back from the market. I wish you had told me how many oranges you wanted.
Me: Okay, thanks!!
End Scene
Huh??? What the fuck are you talking about? Does the word SEVEN not have a numerical value where you come from??  What is this?  Why are you allowed to breed? Please go back to whichever backwards, infested with dumb bitches planet that you came from and NEVER TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN. *throws tantrum*

My Sister *Almost* Died

Gifts of the Poetic Nature

Yesterday, I was reading some poetry aloud with my sister in the room. She tempted me with three topics: depression (huh?), Joyful, and Wildlife.





~Palm Leaves~
I prefer lush, green grass wet from sprinklers.
Maybe even high grade AstroTurf
to avoid worms
and bugs
and dirt

because I'd like to stay clean.

I don't care for the Sahara or tall stalks of
bleached yellow weeds were lions
roam and zebras prance and
hippopotamus
submerge themselves

underwater kind of like how I do
when I'm being wild
and living my life.

And wearing shades so that
the hot sun doesn't burn me.


Sweet Sweet Poetry

Mind the Gap

Long ago when I was
small, you used to call me
beautiful.
And let me eat cookie dough and
spend all your money at
chuck e. cheese's.

You know of that place?

Where kids can be kids?

That's where I was a kid.
That's where I was your kid.


And somehow we started using orange juice instead of milk for cereal.
And I laughed at the strangeness. How cool.
And then things got more strange.
And I thought it was cool that

you were thousands of miles away.

And then you were

here

and then you were

there

here

there

here

there

Where are we again?
This gap is cool.


But the distance created distance.

And I'm over here

And you're over there.

And the middle is so far.

From both of us.

I can't stretch that far.

(And you won't.)

But do you still see me?
Can you hear my voice?
Did you see me grow?
Teach me how to ride a bike?

I taught myself how to ride a bike.
People say:
You never forget how to ride a bike.
But, they also say that

fathers

don't leave

daughters.

And we both know that isn't true.


I forgot three times.
Every single time, 1, 2, 3 I taught myself.
And I was over here

And you were over there.

And it was still cool.


Not that long
ago, when I was

ye tall

I was there.

And I was worried that all that time

you were there

that I was too strange, because

I was here.

But they say: fathers love daughters.
And they are true.

I cried.

I cried.

I felt love.

I felt love.

I felt loved.

I felt loved.

And it wasn't cool anymore.

Because I will always be here.

Hammer Time (Except Replace Hammer with Meme)

1. Wacky Formatted Poetry:
Although, my thoughts are all over the place, generally speaking, I write linearly.  I don't want my thoughts to be boxed in so, I do crazy things with placement/spacing/etc. I like to change the format to throw off the cadence. I like to give people more time to digest what I'm writing. Most of all, I like to entertain and engage the eye. Everything is more surprising when you have to chase it down.

2. New Friends:
Sheesh, very broad prompt. New friends online or in RL? I'll touch on both.  In RL, I'm despicably shy so it takes me a long time even to say "hello."  It makes me sad because I am quite friendly, but my bashfulness always gets the best of me, so people think I'm conceited and/or a bitch. But, I always try to cultivate friendships that will last the long haul. On the internet, I've been in the community for a very long time, but it wasn't until recently (August 2011), that I actually started talking to people. I feel like I missed out now. There is so much awesomeness online and I can't believe how varied everyone is. Everyone has lives and it's so cool that I'm intersecting with people on more than one plane.

3. Adoration:
I always say that adoration is better than love. You can love someone from a far, but you've got to be in their presence to adore them. I just looked up the word and I don't have much to add outside of the fact that the word reminds me of the Renaissance.

4. The Colour Blue:
That's odd! I prefer the color red. However, I do like writing about colors as I find them impossibly evocative and blue is quite popular. It makes me think of Picasso and sadness. The color blue is best served via denim.  I have blue floral curtains and a hulk blanket outlined in blue.

Carla

Some facts first:

1. During the summer I taught English at a "summer camp".
2. The program's mission is to assist [students] in the successful completion of high school, and post secondary education.
3. It was catered towards at-risk children.
4. This was my first foray into teaching.

~

One the first day, I was more than likely late and I wore hot pink. I remember being incredibly nervous and fearful that the students would not like me or worse respect me. For some reason I just scream "total mega bitch" and if I don't, then it oozes through my pores. I'm very aware of this particular fact and I have yet to wield it to my (express) benefit and more importantly to the mutual success of others. In general, I find meeting people/peers to be stressful, so I'm not certain how I convinced myself that I should be in a Position of Authority, but I did.

"Good morning everyone, I'm so and so and I'm here to teach English. Does everyone know what an outline is?"

Yes everyone did, but of course I had to pull teeth to get a response. That's find. I want something, I work towards it. We covered beaucoup de rudimentary stuff: "Can you tell me what foreshadowing is?" And because I didn't write the syllabus, we did some personal development that is too cheesy and painful to mock. It was all very rocky and groggy as class started at 8:00 am. In June.

"So, who are you?" (This is me trying to relate.)

"I'm Carla."

"And you?"

"I'm George...Carla's brother."

Oh

"And you sir?" (I'm laughable.)

"I'm Cesar. Carla's and George's cousin."

Facepalm. Full House. Three against the One.